If you've ever lived in Southwest Michigan (which you probably haven't, and if that is the case, count your stars) then you have learned to fear people from Chicago. They drive like maniacs. And in this tiny, quaint corner of Michigan, there looms small towns which make their profit off of Chicago tourists during the summer. So for three months we have to put up with Chicago people dragging their screaming kids through grocery stores to talk about how "cute" the stores are and how "small" they are (), we have to deal with having no where to park and local businesses taking advantage during local festivals like Venetian where every fucking parking spot is taken up for 3 miles and businesses charge $20 to park. We have to deal with them throwing fits in restaurants and hotels and doing stupid shit on beaches and being jackasses in general, like when they run across busy streets in the middle of the day, somehow assuming that all traffic will come to a screeching halt just for them

But ladies and gentlemen, that's only the tip of the iceberg. The worst thing, by far, is their atrocious, manic driving. The story begins with me job hunting yesterday afternoon~

So there I was, driving through Bridgman. I swear to God I was the only one with a Michigan license plate in the entire fucking town. I turn onto the highway—Red Arrow—and some retard with an Illinois plate (hint: Chicago ) was swerving in and out of traffic. I go a motel in Sawyer () and put in an application ( I get to clean up other people’s stuff!) then go back down Red Arrow.

A giant street-sweeper semi-looking thing is in front of me, and going slightly slower than the speed limit, so I switched lanes. I’m right next to the sweeper thing when OH GOD A RED MOPED COMES FLYING OUT OF NOWHERE IN FRONT OF ME WHAT THE HELL IS IT DOING THERE.

That’s right. _{It fell right out of the sky /lolno keep reading} Some idiot came barreling out of a hotel parking lot on a moped in front of that huge fucking semi thing and into traffic on a fucking highway—traffic mainly meaning meand I almost hit the bitch. I screamed some obscenities not appropriate for this journal and swerved into the lanes going the other direction (good fucking thing there was no oncoming traffic close enough, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to move and I would have hit her because she originally came at angle towards me) so I missed her by…way too close of a call.

If you’re a visual person, then plase imagine this, only with a bajillion more wheels versus this, only with some retarded bitch on it.

I hyperventilated and continues driving, only to end up behind some other idiot with an Illinois plate who apparently didn’t know you turn once a light goes green, then later I ended up behind a Comcast truck from Indiana that kept swerving all over the road